


threatened affinity

by zephyriaus (avsivn)



Category: Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018), Queen (Band)
Genre: Eventual Romance, F/M, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-10
Updated: 2019-03-10
Packaged: 2019-11-15 01:17:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,352
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18063809
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/avsivn/pseuds/zephyriaus
Summary: after a discovery, you question your relation and your position in the life of queen’s guitaurist | gwilym lee! brian may x reader





	threatened affinity

Perhaps it was the strange dreamy allure of Sunday morning that had managed to affect your senses in that way. 

The lethargic haze of oversleeping that cloaked your cloudy head after an incredibly demanding week arose a feeling of certain sentiment within you to say the very least. Aided by the closeness you shared with Brian in the couch of the living room of your newly furnished apartment.

Sunshine peeped through the thin creases and crevices of the window that the curtains failed to completely shield, the cream fabric glowing a golden aura, projecting a soft haze of warm colours in the room. Dreamy eyes memorized the prominent features of the guitarist’s visage, the sharpness of his cheekbones together with the austerity of his jaw line that blended with hidden details of laugh lines and a scrunchable nose to produce a rather handsome countenance. Trailing your fingers down to a messy perm of hair splayed upon your lap, you tentatively massaged the man’s scalp just as his eyelashes fluttered open revealing striking hazel orbs, fixating them upon you almost immediately.

Trading soft whispered ‘Good Morning’s’ Brian sighed turning his head, nuzzling even closer to your stomach, wrapping his arms around you in an almost possessive way, refusing to leave the wonderful warmth your cuddling state offered.

Within those moments you both shared, it was a lovely domestic life.

Yet, why couldn’t you lie peacefully with each other all the time, like the couple you were supposed to be?

~

The first instance that formulated the foundation of considerable doubt in your head concerning your relationship with Brian May was that of Mary. Not that the woman was in anyway a villain. You appreciated her and her friendship; just not the circumstances surrounding your first meeting.

The briskness of the air outside immediately hit you as you fixed the latch of one of the now open living room windows. Closing your eyes, you took a deep breath watching as the pink puffs of clouds rolled by, just as the serenity of the moment was disrupted by the ringing of the doorbell. An odd occurrence, especially considering that Brian wasn’t in at the moment, and you barely had any calling guests.

Opening the front door of your abode, the scent of lavender immediately engulfed your senses. A woman stood at the entrance, dressed to impress in the uniform of that posh Biba boutique you identified from down town London.

“Hello” she greeted, trepidation laced within her tone, “This is Brian’s flat?”

You smiled, hoping it would ease her uncertainty, and your slight discomfort. “Yes. How may I help you?”

“Freddie had asked me to pass and drop these off for him; some tuning instruments for Brian’s guitar.”

“Ah yes,” the realization hit you immediately. “He mentioned that you would be coming over.” You cursed yourself inwardly for sleeping in, grasping the fabric of your pajamas to quell your insecurity. “Would you like to join me inside for tea?”

“Sure.” Mary smiled, cradling the box she had meant to deliver, securely in her hands. “I would love to.”

Thankfully the awkwardness of your first meeting quelled substantially in moments and soon you both found yourselves speaking like good-natured friends.

Laughing at an old memory of the band’s earlier performances, she raised the distinct observation. “Honestly, I was a bit surprised at your presence here. Brian mostly keeps to himself.”

You smiled knowingly. It was a fact that you had realized much earlier in the beginning stages of your relationship after many chance encounters with the man. “Well, he is a bit of a quieter individual when it comes to… the personal aspects of life.” It was a bit forced, your last phrase. Dwelling together was his idea, not that it was a substantial change considering how you both lived as neighbours for months now.

“Yes, he took a while to open up to me as well. I was a bit surprised when I you answered. I never knew he was dating anyone.”

Never knew? Odd, considering the fact you were for the past many weeks. What did that even mean? You’d like to think he would’ve at least mentioned your presence to his friends. Not that you believed it to be negative. Brian was so busy going back and forth from studio recordings to tours that he barely spent much quality time with you that didn’t involve snuggling or napping together.

You mused upon her words later that day, zoning out into space so many times that your employer resorted to sending you off early that day, claiming that she rather not face any accusations from union representatives on overworking her employees when they’re not even in optimum health.

Still, it wasn’t as if concern from others changed anything about the situation. It was something about her words that lurked within your minds in the many days that followed. Once night fell, you would, grudgingly, resort to the yielding to your need to curl up deeply inside your warm, fluffy blanket and drown in lucidity at the darkness of night; only for the feeling of uneasiness to manifest in mirages of constant vivid nightmares, haunting you deeply in the abyss of your mind. You steadily awoke in the middle of the night even more sleep-deprived than before, pacing in the darkness, forsaking the black refuge your orbs craved to be hidden under, fighting the invisible glue that bound your lids together countless times as the blurriness coating your vision would eventually fade. Only to follow the same cycle all over again of abandoning your haven of tousled sheets and fluffy blankets and head out of your homey fortress of a room to get ready for the day.

It wasn’t as if the affinity necessarily changed.

Flowers of affection bloomed within you in the aftermath of every engagement with Brian. Childlike innocence washed over you as you would playfully pick at colorful petals of memorable instances within your dreamscape garden of flowers, continuously pondering rather dazed, upon mindless futures that you may share in the years to come once he wasn’t so occupied or taken with musical endeavours. Those were the images that prompted you to confront the events of everyday.

He would stand there in the kitchen as star studded as always, smoothing his hair, turning to smile at you pressing a peck on your forehead as a form of a quick goodbye before leaving with the promises to spend some more time at a later day. Late returns at midnight would find him at the desk at another corner of the flat, jotting lyrics and rhythms in those journals of his whilst simultaneously tuning his pride and joy, the Red Special. Another peck planted upon your face, as a silent apology for his negligence once again.

Realistically, what good was it to daydream of your possible futures together when they may not even come to pass?

~

“So, what do you suppose?”

Brian had been raving on his ideas to you for the past ten minutes during a rare midnight work session. You ran your hands over the walls smooth surface as you leaned next to him, lost in thought.

“It’s great.” In fact, it was a wonderful premise to the song he was writing.

He looked up from adjusting his guitar’s tuning, slight concern etched upon his features. “Are you feeling alright? You’ve been a bit off for the past week.”

Well, it wasn’t as if you were attempting to shield your pensive state.

“I’m alright” you answered simply, merely focusing on the tunes etched on the rough paper that lay in front of him. It would be the wiser choice to delay the confrontation until you weren’t so sleep deprived from insomnia and the guitarist wasn’t exhausted as he was after the lengthy studio session during the day. Yet, “Actually, no I’m not.”

“Then?” Even his concern sounded vague, even if there was a trickle of genuine worry laced within the words. Your fingers slightly squeezed into a fist, an attempt to keep you grounded somehow.

Inhaling a gentle breath of air, you asked the question. “How would you define our relationship, Brian?”

He noticeably shifted in his seat, “Mutually understanding.”

“The status of our relationship” You emphasized.

Wetting his lips, answer was curt, “Compatible.”

You narrowed your eyes, furrowing your brows at his lack of distinctness,

Patience wearing thin in frustration, you words became more blatant, “From the scale of a groupie to a lover, how would you rate me?”

“A potential paramour”

Brazenly, you looked him in the eye.

“What about a backburner?”

Eyes hesitant, he looked you dead in the eye, pensive for a moment as he paused upon assessing the tone of your words.

“Unlikely.”

~

“Well, did you ask him?”

Mary’s voice of concern permeated through the telephone connection with such genuine concern that your heart ached even more to answer truthfully. Sighing, you curled up deeply into a ball, fist tightly gripping the fluffy pillows you hugged to your chest whilst your fingers curled around the telephone grasped closely to your ear. Enveloped in a cotton quilt, you leaned closer to the armrest.

“Yes.” It was a distinct confirmation. One that you knew she had knowledge of, yet didn’t dare prompt in the already tenseness that surrounded the situation.

“Did it go smoothly enough?” Evidently, she realized there wasn’t an exactly positive outcome. After all, how often would someone telephone at an ungodly hour with good news and not need comforting.

“I suppose you could say our relation doesn’t seem to be necessarily destined for a future.”

~

Days passed ever since that confrontation, if you could even call it that. Brian had abruptly walked out of the room after your interrogation of some sort, after all that was actually the more fitting term. His Vulcan-like answers were exactly those to be expected of an astrophysicist - curt and discomforting.

You were expecting a dismissal. A break up. Not to hear the clunking turn of a key to unlock the front door, hours early on a Saturday night, when you were still fruitlessly drilling over university research papers. It had been so many days since you last laid eyes on him.

The man quickly moved as soon as he saw you, pressing a forehead kiss upon the crown of your head. Chaste and sweet, the action itself was in your eyes the epitome of loving protection. Delicately, he cradled the back of the head comfortingly, moving to rest it upon his chest. You released some stray tears, watching as it wet his shirt, inhaling his scent and pulling him ever closer in a tight hug. Moving away, you looked up to him to meet a soft smile, one that you couldn’t resist reciprocating.

There was a certain tenderness of the moment within the air, one of a bit foreign yet welcoming comfort that you craved for some time. And it was then where you could say that you knew everything was going to be okay.

Later that night, you both continue to cuddle in the midst of a shared fluffy blanket upon the couch engulfed in the warmest hugs and softest kisses. An indoor date night of sorts, where you simply drank cups of tea, shared stories worthy of evoking rosy cheeks until late after the hours of midnight, dozing off only until the clock stuck two.

It was perhaps one of the first moments during your relationship with Brian when you were hesitant in moving a step forward - the day when you would finally meet the boys. You didn’t think it would be that bad. He did mention that Mary would be there soon.

Chapped lips softly skimmed the surface of your cheeks, a comforting gesture as he whispered sweet words close to your blushing skin. “The boys will love you. Trust that.”

You sighed and nodded, welcoming the action. Even the simplicity of his gesture contained an underlying amount of newfound intimacy, yet loving nonetheless, watching as he went to record within the booth and play his creation.

~

“What do you think about her?” Roger asked, inquisitive at the amount of insurmountable affection Brian managed to explicitly display without even batting an eyelash at the other individuals of the room only moments before.

Freddie looked on as the couple walked hand in hand down the sidewalk away from the building, noticing the shared closeness of your faces, reminiscing upon the endearing look that Brian possessed a tad too long coupled with those lingering shy glances you dared to give as you followed the man’s actions throughout the room. A knowing smile spread across Mercury’s face at the innocuous actions. “She’s a keeper”

~

“And what position do I hold in your life?”

The guitarist hummed thoughtfully, momentarily closing his eyes, before leaning down to nibble on your earlobe, warm frosted breath expelled upon your cheeks, whispering his answer, “A very special one.”

Shuddering from both the cold atmosphere and the man’s actions, you hugged yourself even tighter in attempt to shelter from the cold. “You never can give a straight answer, could you?”

“I would if women would just give simple, unprovocative questions.”

You scoffed at his teasing words, not irritated or annoyed as you would have been a few weeks earlier.

Amidst the cold winds that blew in the December night, you noticed as he inclined his head upwards, fond eyes sleepily stargazing across the sprinkle of sparkling specs spread upon the raven canvas of midnight. London’s street lights reflected upon the surface of his orbs that you swore there was a universe caught within the confines of his eyes.

Honking from moving car startled you from your train of thought as you grabbed the sleeve of Brian’s leather jacket, alarmed at the abrupt noise. He released a small laugh of amusement at your actions, enveloping you in a one-armed hug, pulling you closer to him as you grasped at his leather jacket, both of you strolling down the narrow brick road to your apartment a few blocks away. Thoughtfully, you wondered on what other fun adventures lay ahead.


End file.
